Now They Know
by Ash Kaiba
Summary: Part 2 of My Secret Saga. A journal entry by Seto about his views of his illness and a snow storm that brings his condition to the light of the public...including Yugi and his friends...


**Now They Know**

Sequel to **Nobody Knows**

By Ash Kaiba

Finally. Something to post when I have better internet. I promise that I will update the rest. But, I have decided to choose one fic and work until it's finished. So, please be patient...

**DISCLAIMER!! **I own nothing or no one from Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

I'm surprised that the kid convinced me to write in this. Me, Seto Kaiba…writing in a journal? Hell no. But, he gave me his diary with a page marked. Then, he practically yelled at me to read it. What that kid knew scared me. He knew the things that I'd forgotten or can't even remember.

I live with Mokuba, the only family I have left. My mom died giving birth to him; Dad followed her in a car accident. When I was young, I protected my baby brother with my life. And prayed that none of us would become the next victim. But, we were wrong. I was the prey of the man that people have the nerve to call 'my stepfather.'

My past with him screwed up my life. That man acted like I was his bitch. I was relieved as I watched his body fall to the concrete below. I was free, free from that bastard. In reality, I wasn't.

Only 13, and I was drinking. Sometimes, I drank about five bottles. I can't remember. That was the point. Drink until I couldn't remember. And when I wasn't, I tried drugs. Anything to heal the wound Gozaburo made. I tried everything. Everything I could get my hands on until Mokuba stepped up and forced me to go to a hospital.

A man by the name of Akira Satoshi took up my case. He signed me in to stay, poked my body (which made me feel violated for some reason), and took my blood. For awhile, I allowed the nurses to do their thing. One of them was just helping me up to go to the restroom. Something inside of me snapped.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, BITCH!!"

I watched her shrink back in terror. My head swung around as my eyes glared at all the staff that would dare approach me. I snarled. If one tried to step forward, my body prepared for an attack. The word 'doctor' rung faintly in my ears, but my mind didn't register.

"Seto…"

"You're not taking me to **him**," I growled as my back hunched even more.

Satoshi's foot came towards me. And I attacked.

I remember clawing at him and biting when he had a grip. But, the man held on. Adrenalin rushed through my system. And this man…was overpowering me. I fought to stay on my feet, but my knees brought me down. The firm grip stayed, even when my body begins to tremble.

For some reason, I was sad. I felt…like I just survived a car crash. Lost, stranded, and worthless. Most of all, unloved.

I scan the room for anything that would end this emptiness inside me.

"Take him to rehab. Have them restrain him. I'll send a psychiatrist to diagnose his condition."

I felt the nurses help me to my feet and into a wheelchair. I don't care. Despair was filling my body rapidly. And I was frantically searching for a way to release it. I wanted it to end. It reminded me of the loneliness I felt less than a year ago. Air froze in my lungs and my nose refused to work. My lungs complained for fresh air, but the brain denied them.

"Seto," I faintly heard.

Darkness was surrounding me. I embraced it, willing to allow it to swallow me whole.

"Get him…breath… Don't…up…"

When I came around, something gripped my hand. A blurry mass hovered above me. I tried to talk to it, but all I could muster was a moan. Somehow, it got my point across. The blur moved and started speaking, but my ears failed to capture the words.

My body ached. I didn't possess the strength to even turn my head. Or speak for that matter. Never the less, the incoherent mess propped my weak body up, which threatened to collapse back into the mattress. That was when I noticed that my hands were a little further back than my body.

Panic swept through me. I could hear my heart monitor pick up speed.

"No, no. Calm down."

For the first time, I could clearly make out his features. Ivy eyes stared into mine as fire hair stroke his forehead. A blue tee shirt collar wrapped itself around his neck. But, it was the look in his eyes that were burned into my memory.

Whoever he was, he understood the pain I was in. And that something was behind it. He instructed me to inhale, which I did is short gasps. This person encouraged me to breathe deeply. I complied, but was struck by a coughing fit when I did. That concerned look lingered on me. After some time, he helped me lay down and left as my eyes shut.

For awhile, he would be there when I wake up. He'd always propped me up and coached me in breathing exercises. And he left as slumber claimed me. I never knew his name, but I wanted to know. The day before Mokuba's visit, I finally had the courage to ask. All he said was Adam.

Later that day, Adam was still with me when a female doctor walked in. She introduced herself as Dr. Mazaki, a psychiatrist. She asked me random questions. Adam's presence kept me from lying to her.

"Seto, were you abused?

"Yes," I answered.

Her ebony pen scratched at the paper on the clipboard. Then, she looked at me with her brown eyes. "Were you ever raped?"

Like the first time, something snapped. Snarling was dripping from my lips as my muscles tensed. Adam flinched away from me as I struggled with the restraints. Dr. Mazaki watched me as if I was some sort of animal at the zoo. My temper flared even more. The cold iron complained as my 'super strength' started to weaken the chain.

"Seto!"

I recognized Adam's voice, but I wanted to get my hands around the woman's throat. I wanted to hear her plea to the face of Death. I wasn't raped. As I was about to break loose, Adam pinned me onto the bed. His hands held down my wrists. My legs couldn't move from the spread position that was the result of Adam's weight. I took a short gasp of air.

The fear flooded my system as quickly the will to fight vanished. I lay there frozen as my subconscious tries to warn me. It was trying to warn me that Adam will have his way with me. At that realization, tears rushed down my face as I began to wiggle out of his hold. The pain I was going to face was too much.

"Seto," he called.

I fought more. I heard Dr. Mazaki cry my name in hopes of calming me down. My mind was too preoccupied with getting away. Adam was also trying, but knew that his pleas were landing on deaf ears. So, he violently shook me while he yelled, "Dammit, Seto!! Stop this now!!"

In my eyes, Adam wasn't Adam. Gozaburo took his place. I lay on my bed, frozen in time. I watched him close the door in front of me. "No…please…"

The light was gone.

"NO!! PLEASE!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!" My voice was on the edge of cracking.

Then, for some reason, Adam was in the cell. He lifted my torso off the dirty floor. His fingers ran through my greasy hair. I clung to him as I buried my tear stained face into his shirt.

"Seto…"

My head buried itself deeper.

"Seto, you're in your room…"

"Please…don't leave me here…don't leave me here alone…" The whimpers begged.

Adam held onto me, rubbing my back reassuringly. During his rubbing, a prick alerted me of a needle. Before I could get away, blackness claimed me.

Mokuba came the next day. And that day was like the day before. I scared him. And the needle was used again. I woke up again later that day. My brother left. Dr. Satoshi, Dr. Mazaki, and Adam were the only ones with me. Adam approached my side and took his place there.

"Seto, there's something you need to know…" Mazaki began.

"My withdrawals…did they…" I couldn't finish. I was so weak. And the snapping also drained me.

Satoshi was the one who answered. "No. They have only made you weak. You're suffering from maniac-depressive disorder."

The words were foreign to me. I looked at Adam, who carried another concern look. Finally, I directed my attention back to the doctors.

"What do you mean?"

"Your past is the cause of this. You have two personas now, Seto. The maniac, who apparently acts more like an animal, and the depressive, a lost tortured boy," Mazaki answered. "Take these. The lithium and antidepressant will keep you calm for now."

And we left it at that. I went home the next day. Adam drove his car.

"Seto… I'm sorry…"

I didn't answer him. My eyes remained focused on the world outside the passenger door.

"I want to take you to some sessions. I know other people suffering from drug addiction like you."

"Just say it, Adam. I'm screwed up inside. I'm a filthy whore…" I could hear his body tense as I said it.

"Don't say that, Seto. That man is source of the problem…"

"THEN, IF HE IS THE SOURCE, WHY DO I ALWAYS SEE HIM? WHY WON'T HE LET ME GO?" I paused as my lungs begged for air. "I watched him die. I was so happy he was gone. But, his death never fixed anything."

"I'll take you to the sessions, Seto. Dr. Mazaki would also like to keep tabs on your condition."

So, I went. But, I didn't get the welcome that Adam thought I would. All the people were in their late teens-early twenties. Adam seemed to fit in that age group. I was 13, getting ready to turn 14.

The sessions weren't bad. The burden I carried lifted while Adam was in my sight. But, flattened me when he left. The older teens pushed me around and blamed me for all the bad things that happened while he was gone. Adam appeared to be taking their side, which began the feeling of betrayal. But, my last day there was when he learned the truth.

Most of the teens were men. And they could tell I was an easy target. So, they convinced Adam into doing a longer break session, in which he agreed. A group of five took me into one of the back rooms. There, I was stripped all the way down. All five pairs of hands wondered up and down my small body. Each one fought the other about who was going first. I squirmed in their grips, one hand over my mouth so I couldn't cry out.

The headache was coming as my body prepared for it. The men continued until the biggest one pinned me down. Then, I reacted. I remember him losing his grip as I forced my small frame to stand. Growls startled them as my body hair raised on end. One step and their nightmare was unleashed.

I remember Adam charging in. The remainder of the group peeked around the door frame. Bodies of unconscious men surrounded me. The wall touched my back as I crept away from him. My "protector" slowly approached me, calling me and asking me to tell what happened. A woman, his girlfriend I believe, dashed to my side and held me like a mother would her own child. That was the last session. Adam kept me from them.

For years, I took my medication. At business parties, I took a bottle of water with me. No one knew that I was screwed up. Until this late fall.

All the weather channels declared a winter storm warning. I knew my luck. I'd get snowed in at school, away from the two people that give me the most support; Mokuba and Roland. Plus, my medication was at home. As I stood in the courtyard, I wasn't afraid of what would happen to me, but to the people around me. The other students and teachers, how would they react to seeing my true colors?

I had names given to me by the men from the sessions. "Freak", "Disturbed", and others still ring in my head; names that I feel that I can no longer bear. Adam kept suggesting of making friends. Instead, I gave all my energy to creating my safe haven; a frozen paradise. A mask that is thick and hard to break. Yet, if someone were to notice a crack─ particularly Yugi─, I would lose that world where I am safe from my fear and men like my stepfather.

Yugi, like the very few that try to get to know me, run the risk of me injuring them. I can't handle men. They make my episodes more frequent than when they work on their own. And the teachers don't even know that some of the male student body is gay. I'd know. I have a fan club full of girls and homosexuals. The girls are a handful, but the other half is a nightmare. But, back to Yugi.

Yugi is the only person ever to beat me in Duel Monsters. And despite what I did to him and his grandfather, he has been trying to befriend me. Though I respect him─ and yes, I admit it─ I've only been helping him when he's my last resort. Mokuba, on the other hand, thinks that the Mutou would help me open up more. I'm not so sure. He's friends with the loudest person I know; a kid named Joey Wheeler.

Wheeler will find out about me and spread it everywhere. The whole world would learn how I am not the strongest person, but the insane man that belongs in an institution. I don't want for that to happen. I know it will hurt Mokuba, but both of us know that if the public knew, I would be the victim of it. What it would do to me? We don't know, but multiple scenarios play through our head. Scenarios that I do not have the courage to write down. The only thing that I can write is that I would be away from the one hold of reality I have, my own brother.

Yet, it was getting close to the beginning of December. Snow creeping its way to the winter season. In fact, Domino was under a snow storm watch. It had been for a couple days. Though I prefer the wintry chill, a snow in isn't good for my condition. I considered skipping school that day. That way, I was closer to my medication. I never carried them with me for the risks that I just explained.

I kept my distance from Yugi. In the few glances, I allowed some of my fear and concern for his safety to leak out. But, I didn't know how his presence or that of his British friend would determine my behavior. I'm getting ahead of myself.

My calculus class and physics class passed quickly. I had learned all this from the man who claimed to be my **creator**, my stepfather. Our Education Department is forcing me to go to high school just so I can keep my own brother in my custody. Third hour was boring.

Until the intercom announced that the storm is striking the city down to her knees. All the students and staff should retreat to the gym. Gather all food, water, and means of warmth. And everyone did that. I emptied the duralumin case I carried. My books on technology and school subjects were stuffed into my desk. I followed a group of students taking food from the snack machine in the teacher lounge, cafeteria, and wherever they kept with them. All I did was open the case and things I never touched flew into it. They filled it up and I carried it to the gym.

I caught a glimpse of Yugi and his friends. Each one struggled to keep bottles of water, tea, milk, soda, and the cold coffee in their arms. Other students broke into the fire blankets of the chemistry labs and took blankets of the beds in the infirmary, plus the sheets. All of us made our way to the gym. The upper classmen pulled out the wrestling mats to cover the hardwood floor.

The lights flickered. Immediately, I grasped what was happening. I could hear the wind howling outside. The power lines cry out in pain. A mind that works with electricity could "feel" this. Power failure.

"Turn off the breaker." I replied.

"You're suggesting turning off our power!" A senior yelled at me.

"Yes, we're going to lose power! Might as well!"

As the gym teacher approached the box, the lights went out. I gave the senior the "I told you so" look. The warmth started to fade into the cold. Teachers huddled together, following the "god-like" idol they are to us. Yugi and his friends were together. Me…

I had the fan club, but that doesn't mean I accepted it. Hands reached out to me. Instinctively, I pulled away. Both genders reached out for me; the males closer than the girls. My head started to throb. Panic floods my system. I thrashed out of their grip, which startled everyone else. The buff kids surrounded me. Then, I snapped.

In the haze, I remember Joey and his pencil head partner with the other blurry faces. Several of them were scratched or bitten. The taste of blood in my mouth lingered. I fought them off of me; my mind thinking that one of them was out to break me.

"Kaiba!!"

I lashed out and listened to the cry. As with Mokuba, a dagger of guilt stabbed my heart. My throat went dry. Air rushed out of my lungs; my chest threatening to collapse. I watched the blackness creep from the edge of my vision.

Yet, air crept back into my lungs. A hand running through the moist hair on top of my head. A female voice whispering in my ear occasionally snapped at the air above me. Rocking made my world sway, but I said nothing. The dread in my system stayed frozen as small circles were rubbed into my back. Exhaustion claimed me…

* * *

"Kaiba?"

The young brunette stared at the sleeping form. His legs draped onto the cold floor. His arms remained folded as if he was a little child. The chest rose and fell in perfect rhythm. The eyelids covered the panicked eyes she witnessed about ten minutes ago; the eyes that were once dancing around the room like a caged animal.

"Téa?"

Téa directed her attention over to Yugi. The small teenager now paid little heed to the bruise forming on his cheek; the bruise that caused the great Seto Kaiba to tremble and whimper. Joey Wheeler stood over him. For once, the blonde carried a dumbstruck look on his face. The same for Tristan. Bakura had knelt down next to Téa, gently working out all tenseness in the young CEO's back.

"Is Kaiba…" Joey started to ask.

"I don't know. I have never seen **anyone** act like this before."

Tristan's face shifted from idiot to concern as Kaiba stirred. The young man released a tiny whimper as he settled back down. The cold features they were used to seeing softened to that of a young child. Everything now reminded them a young child. How the coldest man on earth would tremble and snuggle closer to Téa; his sleeping form; the look of fright in the ocean eyes.

"We got a long night ahead," he whispered.

"Yeah, we got a long night…" The blonde agreed.

The group returned to their huddle. This time, their rival remained curled up in the middle. Twitches vibrated through the thin frame. Téa hushed him and ran her fingers through his hair. The air remained tense; the student body's eyes staring at a man they thought they knew. The teachers kept watch over them: from the hazardous weather outside to the oncoming attack from within.

* * *

When I woke up the next day, I noticed that the very group I was avoiding was around me. A thin blanket covered me and some of the other. I figure that they kept one on me all night as they took turns with the other. I wasn't surprised by that, but the fact of all night, Gardner held me in her arms.

Emotionally, I was a wreck. I still felt like a train plowed my guts into the rails. Yet, I wasn't constantly searching for a way to end it. Maybe because I was still at school.

I noticed that the teachers were watching us like a shepherd would with his sheep. Also, in their mind, I was the wolf within the herd. I couldn't blame them. I still can't. Yet, I was too tired to do a damn thing. I found that my throat was dry enough that it would turn raw if I dared to use it.

I wanted out…

I wanted to go home…

* * *

"Oh, morning sleepy head."

Téa watched his body tense as still panicked eyes started to stare at her. Kaiba stared and shifted, curling up into ball. His eyes finally left her and started staring off into space. She dared not to say anything because he appeared to be thinking. A couple times, she swore she heard the nickname of the young Kaiba. With it, a plea for comfort.

"Kaiba… What's wrong?"

The CEO tensed as his body curled up even tighter.

"Seto," she corrected as he relaxed.

The CEO remained silent; mumbling gibberish to himself. Téa's face darkened as Bakura and Yugi finally woke up and looked at her.

"Téa?"

The once powerful man gripped his head and started to scream. The three of them jumped as everyone else angrily woke up and started throwing anything they could at him. Yugi jumped into their path, screaming that the school counselor come over. The factuality ignored him and his pleas.

"STOP!!"

The gym went still. Kaiba struggled to his knees. Tears slid on the porcelain surface, only to explode on the tile floor.

"I won't do it again. Please, Father… Please stop…"

Yugi listened to Joey gasp as Kaiba kept asking 'Father' to stop. Joey approached the whimpering teen. This time, concern overflowed from his honey eyes. He tried to pulled the Kaiba close, which resulted the brunette struggling.

"Kai… What the hell is wrong with you?"

* * *

"Kai… What the hell is wrong with you?"

Those words made it through. I realized that the mutt was trying to hold me in hopes of calming me down. But, this episode is over.

"Kaiba?"

"Shut up," I weakly growl.

"You need help, man," I hear Taylor snap.

"Fine. THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I screamed, using what little strength I had to get up to my feet.

I **need** to go back to the mansion. Out of here so no one else gets hurt. And with that, I ran out the gym doors. I ignored everyone screaming at me to return. I focused on the front doors and blocked out all the voices. I couldn't stop hearing footsteps behind me. The front door gave in and allowed me into sunlight.

I stagger, now blind. As my vision adjusts, I focus all my attention on a big figure approaching me, calling me by name.

"Roland…" I gasp as the bodyguard pulled my weak body towards his own.

"You're cold. Are you trying to kill yourself with a cold? Come on, I'll take you home."

I felt a faint smile on my lips as voices now bombarded my brain. Students reuniting with their loved ones. Their nightmare finally over. But, my mine has just begun.

-Seto Kaiba

_**A week later…**_

"How are you holding up?"

"All right, I guess." Seto Kaiba answered the red head.

Adam sighed as he sipped his soda. Seto sat across from him. The two watched snowflakes fall inside a local café. Seto pulled the ball cap's bill down, trying to cover his eyes from the public.

"Dr. Satoshi changed my prescription. I'm to take it twice a day now." Kaiba added.

"Understandable. How is Mokuba handling this situation?"

"He's a lot tougher than I am. He's handling it really well. So is Roland."

"That's good," Adam grinned.

"Yeah, since I've been having nightmares every night since last week." Seto sighed as he glanced at the outside world.

Adam closed the leather book and placed it in front of the young CEO.

"It's not easy, but you're tough too. You should find someone other than me to talk to." Adam replied as his green eyes retreating under his eyelids.

"Like who?"

"Probably this Yugi. He considers you one of his friends, doesn't he?"

Seto stared at the surface of his cold tea. "He does… But, I already hurt him once. No…twice now."

"Give it a shot."

Seto glanced at Adam before nodding.

"All right. Excuse me…"

Adam watched Seto slide into his trench coat. The leather journal returned to its pocket. Seto buttoned it shut and tied the belt. He gasped as he just remembered something.

"Don't worry. The drinks are on me," Adam smiled.

"Thank you," Kaiba whispered as he walking away from the booth.

The bell jingled as the brunette opened it. And as it swung shut behind him. Adam observed him from the window until his friend left his sight.

"Good luck, Seto…"

* * *

Well? I don't know if I will continue this. Like **Nobody Knows, **I kind of left this one open. If I were to continue to it, I still have to decide whose journal is next or make Seto's struggle into chapter fic. I don't know. I leave it to you.


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